why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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