No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
