Porn is love you can see.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
