You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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