I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
