I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
