I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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