I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
