Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
