I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
