The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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