Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
