We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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