my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize