I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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