I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
