this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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