well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A bitchslap is in order.
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