what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
