Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
