i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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