So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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