Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
