first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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