I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
this hospital has no fireball
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
