What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
