I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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