At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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