I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize