Sry I called you an 8
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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