wanna go halves on a baby?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
