Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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