K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
