You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
