Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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