I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
