Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
