she was so not down for the gang bang
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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