Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She announced her abortion via fbk
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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