During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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