One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
