So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize