I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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