i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize