If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
