did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
