i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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