So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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