Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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