Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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