he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
