lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
