i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
