I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
