If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
