everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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