At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
