Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Blood and glitter go together right?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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