i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
