absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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