New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize